Back to the Lab
I started working on a new sculpture in copper. Whenever I try to do something new, and by this I mean with a new technique, I learn things most frequently by becoming utterly frustrated with my lack of progress. I get caught up in the difficulties of experimentation. I have a vision, and then find I’m unable to achieve it through the method I expected to work (without the previous experience of trying it). Sometimes, I end up with an interesting and beautiful result. But I spend a lot of time feeling like I’m hitting my head against a wall and getting no where. That’s where I’m at. Frustrated. The form is not going where I want it to go. On the bright side, ever since I took my first metals course, I’ve loved the way fire colors copper, and once again, playing with it is fun.
I also noticed the flowers around Amsterdam are springing up for the season, and the grouping below seemed to be blooming in support of Ukraine.
Old Old Normal
I tried to finish my heart pendant last week, but I’m dissatisfied with it. I don’t like the chains I have for it, and I don’t like the form itself that much. I will finish it, since it’s most of the way done, but meh. Honestly, I don’t feel like making hearts right now; it doesn’t suit my mood, so I have nothing I want to show today. Instead, I’m going to continue posting my Ukrainian No War flag.
Just when it seemed like things were going to normalize post covid, we’re back to what feels like a very old normal. A normal I’d mostly forgotten having only briefly experienced it myself: the normal of the Cold War. In only 11 days, Russia is basically back behind an Iron Curtain via global economic sanctions and internal suppression of just about everything. What now?
I guess I’ll just make art. Few activities are as capable of elevating humanity and bringing light in dark times.
I bought a big sheet of copper to sculpt for an idea I recently had. Might even patina it.
No War. No War. No War.
Since war broke out as we were coming home from holiday, I’m just going to save my usual blog reflections and post the Ukrainian flag in solidarity with the country and its people who must rise up to save their freedom from a maniacal autocratic warlord.
Valentine's Day in Silver
I feel proud of my sliver-smithing abilities: yesterday I successfully soldered a tiny curved wire, perfectly filed to meet the edges of my irregular heart pendant. I also made several jump rings and marked out where I want to chase surface texture on the edges. Once the chasing is complete, I plan to make the surface gently bombé with the wooden dapping tools I made a few months back. For the finish, I’d like to blacken the piece to enhance the details, but I’ll have to buy sulfur first. It’ll be a fun wearable pendant when done, and pretty soon I’m going to have to get all of my pieces assayed and stamped for sale. Exciting!
Last week I also started a still life painting featuring my dead banana plant. It’s going to get a text commentary layered on top that makes it into a metaphor for colonialism. I prefer to think of it as a still death, because, why not? My current goal is to pursue an academic art practice that will hopefully include an MFA program, but I’m not feeling optimistic about my candidacy. It doesn’t help to have just received a rejection (from the one I’m least excited about, but still). I know the programs here are competitive, but don’t know how competitive I am as a candidate. I worry about ageism: I will almost certainly be the oldest person in the program, and likely 10 years older than the average. It also seems like having a design education (and career) is seen as lesser than traditional fine arts for many of these programs, and might count against me. It takes me back to when I was in the art school in college and my friends told me I wasn’t a real artist, just a designer. It’s almost as annoying as it is ridiculous. Guess I’m just a sellout wondering if I can convince the academé otherwise.
First Exhibition
I participated in my first exhibition and was pleased with it as a comfortable introduction into showing my work. I’d felt really anxious about the show and spent a good deal of time last week considering how to present my work without overdoing it. The turnout was quieter than the organizers expected for a few reasons: it wasn’t the full Buurtlicht program thanks to covid derailing things, and covid is likely making people less anxious or able to go out. The weather was also truly terrible last night. That said, I was sort of glad it was slow. It worked for me as a warmup to know what to expect and be better prepared for the next time.
I decided to focus on my small collection of silver pieces but didn’t intend to sell anything. It was nice to talk to people about my work, which I did almost exclusively, and surprisingly competently, in Dutch. Several people asked about prices too, which felt good. I had thought about pricing for my goods in spite of my plan not to sell anything, and while I believe I offered fair prices considering the material cost and my time, they’re not inexpensive, and I made that decision conscientiously. If I decide to make a full-fledged go of selling my own jewelry, I’m going to focus on a higher-end market, since my experience in retail has shown me how difficult it is to compete for lower or mid-range items. I can’t capitalize on a market that uses industrial processes as an individual artisan, but I believe my work is interesting enough that it will cater to people who are more collecting-minded and know the difference between a handmade item and manufactured goods; in short, not the low end.
My friend who invited me to join the show makes a living from her work, and she’s found a way to make affordable pieces and has positioned herself in the mid-tier. We talked today about the various markets in Amsterdam, and how she operates. It was really good to hear about how she manages her business: spending a few months making her collection and then selling and teaching in other parts of the year, and also how she sets up her practice to be efficient at the bench. My way of working is a little different, but I could use some of her techniques applied to my style. Maybe it’s viable. Something to think about. Also, she suggested finding a good gallery or two that suit my style to sell my goods. I’d considered museums, but she said that’s to be avoided because they take a huge cut (like 80%). In any case, I want to focus on the art first, business later, but this is all good to keep in mind.
In news of retail, friends from James Avery told me today that the heart ring I designed is going gangbusters since it launched a few weeks ago. I’m really proud to hear that. I knew it would be a good style, but it’s doing even better than expected. I should buy one for myself (maybe some of my younger family members would also appreciate one).
I also started a new silver necklace project last week. I think I’ll finish it next week since I’m only at the Buurtwerkplaats on Mondays while the class is in session on Fridays. It’ll be cute, very wearable, and it’s a heart: so perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Winning in Translation
I spent last week preparing for my first jewelry design lesson in Dutch: the one I was scheduled to teach on Friday. Did I mention I was teaching it in Dutch? That was a new challenge. I spent no fewer than six hours on Thursday writing notecards. It was partly so I could remember what I wanted to say but mostly so I could remember how to say it properly in the foreign language in which I am only marginally competent. Shockingly, I got through the lesson, only relied on the notecards in a minor way (just having written them was immensely helpful), and the students understood me… except the guy who spoke English. Having a non-Dutch English speaker was in some ways harder: I had to explain in both Dutch and English at certain times, and going back and forth is difficult.
Overall, the students seemed to like the class, and I could see that it was a new way of thinking for them. This was interesting for me, because I’ve never taught design visualization to anyone before, and most of the people to whom I’ve taught design practices were junior level employees who already knew the basics. I started with what I consider the golden rule: always draw 1:1. Some of the class was more artsy than others, so getting them to draw in true scale and think about how they were going to execute their projects in real life gave them ample problems to solve. You could almost see their minds working as they were like, oh… I’m not sure you could wear this, and this is going to be too small or too big or uncomfortable. It reminded me of when untrained design directors hand out ideas to execute without any concept of reality, and then when you try to build them, you hit all the walls of reality. It was a fun lesson to teach.
I’m excited for a new opportunity this weekend too: I’m taking part in a small show as part of the ongoing Westerpark Buurtlicht series. I’ll set up a booth with my little Shadow Blooms collection and prep a pdf reel of paintings so that, if there’s time, they can spin them on the projector. Pretty cool! My first show! I think I’m going to apply for the larger Buurtlichtroute that happens annually in September with my digital Protoas. I have to work on animating them, so that will become my next big project. It’s a good excuse to get into Blendr.
Covid Comes Home
It finally happened, one of the boys came home with Covid. It arrived as an 18 hour headache, and then was gone. None of the rest of us has gotten sick, but the kids are all quarantined, (and so is Fred’s class since at least four other kids and both the teacher and assistant teacher then came down with it). To add insult to injury, the day the boys were supposed to get their first dose of vaccine was the day I gave Fred the test that was positive. On the bright side, it appears the booster shots are effective, and thankfully, because I got one, I don’t have to quarantine without symptoms. It appears the lockdown is about to end as well, and I was able to go back to the Buurtwerkplaats yesterday to onboard our new volunteer.
I started playing with my Tipping Point Sculpture II last night. I wanted to see what it would take to make it collapse, and I shot a couple of videos of it. The sculpture is meant to be dynamic; it’s a connected group of “stones” suspended on a wire staff, but movement is hard to capture in a still image. The posted video ends in a nice collapse too. There was a second video I debated posting where the wire structure tipped over in an interesting way, but the “stones” fell off the pedestal, so I decided not to add that clip to the collection. In the handful of videos I’ve made in the last year, I’ve found it’s a medium I’d like to explore further. Something to keep in mind.
I also created my digital Protoa piece last week. It was fun to work in Rhino in Keyshot again. It had been a while, and I had to break out my old computer because I can’t use my (now ancient) Keyshot license on my new computer. I played with emissive and anisotropic materials which is always entertaining. When I started building the CAD, I did it down and dirty, using simple pipes and gumball scales, but I knew I was cheating, so I redid them using better modeling techniques: building surfaces with sweeps and curve networks. I used my old render pass techniques to add depth, but several of the passes took over twelve hours. I really need to upgrade Keyshot so I can use it on the new machine, until then, the old iMac is the little engine that could.
2022
I took a few weeks off from blogging. The Netherlands has been back on full lockdown and omicron is spreading like wildfire. In locking down again, the kids were off school for an extended winter break, and after two years without much of a break from the unending demands of parenting, I’m exhausted. I decided to let the blog posts slide while working on pieces for my portfolio. For a change of pace, we went to Paris (not locked down) and that was excellent. I hadn’t been there since 2014 and it was fun to show the boys around. We did the usual tourist stuff: Eiffel tower, Sacre Cour, the Louvre, the Catacombs, and we went to the Pompidou: a museum I’d wanted to visit for years. And, of course, the bakeries were incomparable. Everyone loved it and I hope to go again soon. It’s always entertaining to blunder my way through exchanges in French.
I’ve been trying to consume a lot of contemporary art lately because I think it’s important for understanding what’s current. There are so many directions, though, that I often feel at sea. Intriguingly, I’ve recently noticed a renewed interest in the mid-century painters who weren’t abstract, but were often overshadowed by those who were: David Hockney, Francis Bacon, Lucien Freud, and Norman Rockwell. I wonder if there’s a hunger for approachable art, because a lot of art these days is very difficult and inaccessible to all but the deepest art-world insiders. The Pompidou had an interesting show featuring Pierre Bismuth, a contemporary French artist who I hadn’t heard of before. I liked looking at his range of work; it was inspiring to see the many ways he approached it. A lot of it could be called Meta, which I’ve always been drawn to as a concept, but it requires a lot of context: for example, understanding a used Saab re-upholstered with the names of collected artists of the collector who formerly owned the car is a lot of levels of indirection. There were also chocolate bars branded with Bismuth’s name on them, offered as part of the exhibit, (this inclined the kids to like it, too). It was a very savvy commentary on branding.
In news of my work, in spite of the Buurtwerkplaats being closed, I bought myself a small butane torch and finished my copper Tipping Point sculpture at home. I decided to change course from my first idea. I like the outcome more than I thought I would, and frankly, more than I think I would’ve liked the original. In terms of process, I was much faster chasing out the third stone than the first two, and It resolved better too. All of the metal is shaped by hand. That was fun, too. I picked up some copper wire at a funky little metal shop in the Marais and used it for the stand and the connections. I’d like to source all of my metal from there, but it’s only realistic if I’m already in Paris.
During the last year, while I’ve been working on my own, one of the most excellent parts of my experience is that when I make a piece, I think of the people I learned from, and it makes me happy.
Return to Pandemonium
I had a good week working after my parents returned home last Monday. It was great to see them and enjoy some holiday festivities. As it turned out, we were lucky, because now we’ve returned to full tilt pandemic anxiety mode. I feel like it’s March 2020 all over again with a lot of uncertainty and the misery of being cloistered. The Netherlands is back on hard lockdown thanks to the new and rapidly spreading OMICRON. It’s bad: evading vaccines and spreading more than twice as fast as any previous Covid variant, and while the the available data is inconclusive, it might be as severe as Delta. Schools are closed again, and although booster shots seem helpful, the NL is behind on giving shots (again). Hopefully I’ll be able to sign up for a booster January 7.
In news of my working progress, I realized that my chased copper “stone” sides don’t match well enough to solder them together. I’ll have to use them each as a separate stone half and start over. I’ve decided to use the finished edge to scribe as a reference outline and then use dividers to mark the inner diameter before chasing out the matching surface. Hopefully, it’ll be more successful. With my larger planned stone, I’ll only do one side at a time and execute the second side in this new way rather than trying to do both sides at the same time. It’s is a learning process.
I also painted my portrait of Hannah Arendt. I’d put it off because I was afraid I’d butcher it, but it was successful. I’m particularly pleased with the rendering of her shirt: the black on black textile surface looks beautiful. Her skin tone is a bit pale, but not bad, and retains some nice color. I think working from a black and white photo probably influenced the coloration more than I’d meant. Since Hannah Arendt has been my recent inspirational guide, I decided it would make sense to complete the painting as part of the tipping point series, and I’m working that through now. It’s become an odd and interesting piece, and I surprised myself with it, which feels good.
Thanksgiving Family Time
I’m off for the next couple of weeks while I have family visiting. It’s so nice to enjoy the holidays with them again after last year when Covid had us all hiding at home. I did get some work done before their arrival. Tipping Point is well underway, the Shadow Bloom torque is polished, and the copper chasing continues. Most importantly, I completed four excellent pies.
Back in a few.
Tipping Progress
I continued chasing my copper “stones” and soldered a ring onto the back of the Shadow Bloom pendant. The pendant shape executed well with the new oak punches, so it’s nearly ready to finish. I just have to clean up around the solder a little and give it a final polish. Soldering is going more smoothly. The regular time I’ve been spending at the bench has been paying off. My chasing is improving too. Though it’s tiring after working for a while, I’ve definitely built control. Overall, I’m happy with the tools I’ve made: the chasing tools are perfect, and my extra-large oak forming punches helped perfect the curve of the torque wire, which I hadn’t considered until I had the tools in my hand. It’s nice that the torque is further strengthened that way too.
I’m hoping to complete the Tipping point painting before my parents arrive on Friday. I added some layers to it, and I’m happy with the direction, but it’s decidedly unfinished. Some color pops with the new washy technique will help balance the composition and make it more interesting. I expect it to take two to three more layers before it feels finished.
One of the kids wanted to make papier maché, which was convenient. I was able to indulge him while making another traditional papier maché “stone.” The new one needs a few more layers, but my papier maché technique is better than with the first one. I think this will be a good addition to the group.
Experiments in Progress - Tipping Point
I recently decided to embark on a multi-media project that reimagines a single idea as painting, metalwork and papier maché. When I first started working on the Protoas, I tried traditional flour and water papier maché by making a ball. It’d been sitting on my window sill since March, and for reasons I can’t explain, I really liked it. I’d come to think of it as a little meteor or a stone and decided to play with this idea more, so now I’m chasing “stones” in copper.
There was also an affinity with a small section of my “experimental canvas” (it’s a canvas that I continually repaint to try things out). I started painting standing stone formations on several canvases, and they were really weak and unresolved. A week or so later, I started thinking about Helen Frankenthaler who was mentioned in a book I’d been reading, and what she called her Dying process. I decided to try my own version of it, and had a breakthrough. The work is ongoing, but I’m excited about the direction.
I’ve been thinking about the whole concept as “Tipping Point.” It’s about the idea of collapse: how does a collapse start? What does it look like? Is there a single cause or a multiple causes? When does it occur? Are all collapses fundamentally the same?
Warm Works: Copper and Wood
Last week was a hugely productive week in spite of there being no finished items. I stretched a large canvas, prepared my pitch bowl for chasing work, and finished lathing my wood dapping tools.
Things I learned:
1. If you lathe a wooden rod too thin at one point, it will eventually snap. It’s true, I feared that might happen since I wanted to form a sphere which required significant cutting in. Fortunately, thanks to my eye protection, when the piece snapped and hit me in the face, it didn’t do any damage beyond my pride (and nerves). My sphere will have to be refined to a more ovoid end thanks to the splintering (middle punch in the photo above), but once I clean them up, I’ll have three large dapping punches of differing radii.
2. I love making my own tools.
3. I wish the belt sander at the Buurtwerkplaats was working, because finishing these by hand is taking more time than I wanted it too. I think the first one is now in a usable state, but the other two need several hours of sanding.
4. The oak wood was free, but I’m a little concerned that the wood grain is larger than I’d prefer and may be noticeable on my silver. If I have to try something finer, I’ll seek out maple or cherry.
5. Woodturning, which I’d never done before this week, is really fun!
I finally set up my chasing kit: melted the pitch into the bowl, annealed a couple of sheets of copper with the mirrored outlines of a small sculptural piece scribed onto them, and got it ready to go. This morning I set to work with the steel chasing punches I made last year. It’s working really nicely, and my punches are great. I haven’t used copper in a long time, and this project reminds why copper is a traditionally favored metal: it’s so soft and smooth; perfect for chasing. Future note: turning copper is something I’d like to try.
Fall Blooming
In the last week, I’ve made good progress on my Shadow Blooms torque collar. Although the parts look attached in the above image, they’re not. It’s just how I plan to finish it. Right now I’m at a point where I want to make a new tool. When I purchased my wood forming blocks, I only bought a small dapping pin, and for the large block, I really need a bigger one, so I’m going to make it in the wood shop at the Buurtwerkplaats. It’ll be fun. I haven’t worked with woodworking tools since I took a furniture class years ago in Oakland. For this project, I need to use a lathe, which I’ve never used, but have always wanted to try.
I’ve also been thinking about some smaller blooms: a small pendant and hoop style earrings. Since I have established my business here as an entity, it may be wise to try to sell some items, and I think these have legs. I may look into some laser cutting shops if I really want to build a business. I could get blanks cut, and form and finish them. That would ensure a certain level of consistency and cost efficiency too.
I also worked on two paintings on my newly stretched and prepped canvases. I don’t think they’re resolved, but I liked an element in them and have decided to expand on it. It’s funny because the original inspiration for the paintings was an element from another experimental painting that I decided to expand on. It’s almost recursive or fractilinear: zoom in, expand, adjust. zoom in, expand, adjust… ad infinitum.
Escape to Berlin
I spent the last week, our Herfstvakantie, in Germany, stopping in Berlin for several days, then a medieval town, and after that a day in Stuttgart. I’ve been wanting to go to Berlin since I was a backpacker hopping around Europe in college. Back then, I ran out of money in Prague, and so hopped a train to Amsterdam instead, where I could catch a plane back to London on the cheap. Berlin was every bit as excellent as I’d hoped for then. It buzzes with creative energy and an irreverent spirit. We visited a gallery/artist space in a repurposed hospital surrounded by squatters living in modified trucks that would’ve been at home in “Mad Max,” and dined at a cafe location on the Spree constructed by local community activists who’d obtained squatters rights and established themselves against growing gentrification. I imagine NYC felt like this sometime in the 1980s, but with more dangerous street crime. In any case, it was an inspirational trip. It’d be an amazing place to live, if only I could make that work.
We went by train, which remains my favorite way to travel, partly because I can spend so much time reading. I finished The Care Collective’s Care Manifesto, and was able to crank through a third of Arthur C. Danto’s After the End of Art . Both works contain interesting ideas, and Danto’s is something I wish I’d read in college when it was relatively new. In any case, it’s a wealth of knowledge for people like me interested in thinking about art at a higher level. Over the last few months, after I’d started on a self-study crash course in philosophy because I felt certain it was the way to better think about art, Danto, a serious philosopher and later art critic, defines the direction of art after Modernism as a philosophy exercise. That gives me some confidence that I’m headed in the right direction. Additionally, I finally found a book by Adrian Piper at the Hamburger Banhof museum bookshop: Escape to Berlin; it inspired this post’s title.
I left out a post the week before leaving, but I’m making good progress on my latest Shadow Bloom too. I was thinking of making a necklace to go with the group but ultimately decided the designs lend themselves better to a classic torque. I also found myself very inspired for some new abstract paintings, and decided to stretch my own canvas for the first time. It was relatively successful, now I just have to paint them since the gesso coats are fully dried.
Trial by Soldering
I only lost three components while soldering the clasp onto the Shadow Blooms brooch. With a large 18 gauge sheet of Sterling requiring the adherence of tiny components, three is a pretty good number. They fused to themselves, so they’re now in my scrap bag waiting to be melted down. It’s unfortunate, but also the reason I bought a bag of 10 pieces per component. I expected it to be worse.
One of the biggest challenges was placement of the components. Since the piece undulates with organic curves, ensuring the solder and the component remained in the right place AND in the correct orientation was very hard. I’ve been using the handheld butane torches the Buurtwerkplaats has available, and I’ve come to miss the propane/ox setup on the bench at my last office. It was far easier to work with it than what I’ve got now: there’s not much control, and the handhelds require frequent refills; I can’t set them down while they’re on either.
Once I soldered the clasp parts and crimped in the wire, the pin was too long; I clipped the end and filed the shortened wire back to a point. It needs to be sanded smooth, but it’s a good length now. The piece will be done by the time I leave my next BWP shift.
I’m in debate with myself about the fine silver finish currently raised onto the surface of the brooch. My original plan was to create a mirror finish like the flower ring and earrings, but I like the milky flashing. It’s too rough for prime-time as a sale item, but as an art piece, it’s very beautiful. I’ll probably polish it, as my colleague pointed out, I can always heat it again. There are some rough patches around the soldered parts that need cleanup in any case.
To be honest, I procrastinated finishing the brooch for months. I expected soldering the backing to be difficult and frustrating, and couldn’t bring myself to face the challenge. I purchased and received the parts in August (after putting off buying them for two or three months), but decided to work on the spirals instead. They brought their own difficulties and I had several weeks where I thought I might never finish any silver pieces ever again. I’m glad I put my worry aside and determined to finish the brooch. I feel like I can move on to my next challenge, something I’ve wanted to try since college: real glass enameling starting with plique-à-jour.
Spiraling Down
The spiral earrings are complete. I finished forming and soldered ear posts onto them. They could use a bit more polishing, and the final hammered texture is subtler than at the beginning. While it’s too bad I wasn’t able to swedge the wire and form an ear wire out of it, at least I learned something in the process. I got to try out my Fretz mushroom stake and 101 hammer for the first time and it was perfectly suited to adding a subtle, but needed bombé shape to the overall spiral and also softening and adjusting the texture. I chose a good placement for the posts and the earrings wear well. They complement the jawline via the direction of spirals. Ultimately, I’m pleased with these.
Projections
I spent last week thinking about my portfolio and project proposals, and feel in a rut about the portfolio especially. This one will be completely new, and that’s a daunting prospect: in addition to excellent content it requires beautiful presentation. I also found a residency I’d like to apply for, and I’ll need a separate project proposal for that from the graduate program proposal. This is all good practice, but the unfamiliar territory piques my imposter syndrome.
I did a little silversmithing too. I finally decided it was time to change tack with the wire earrings, having recognized that the 3mm wire’s theoretical tapering potential did not pan out once struck with the hammer of reality. It appears I may even be able to successfully finish them now, probably as ear posts. I like the hammered texture achievable with a small ballpeen hammer available at the Buurtwerkplaatz. It seemed a little rough for hammering initially, so I brushed it with a few rounds of extra fine grit sandpaper and that improved the finish considerably. The bench block is quite rough, and thought I’ve sanded it several times over the last few weeks, the pits are too deep and require machining to polish nicely. I could do it in the metal shop below the jewelry studio, but it’s not my block and if I accidentally ground it into worse shape, I’d feel bad about it.
A Work in Progress Story in Pictures
I sketched out the form for Protoa Beta on its backing cardboard several months ago. The photo demonstrates all the places my knees depressed the structure of the card. While it’s not ideal, the papier maché layers should ultimately cover these defects. One thing I’ve found with the Protoas is that after the initial full size sketch is drawn, I come back to it later and find I don’t like the “explosives” (what I call the outer jagged edge), and have to fix them. The following photos demonstrate the linear progression of how this was edited before finally cutting it out. The act of cutting also allows for slight editing as well: in case the drawn lines aren’t straight, I use the blade to make them true. Additionally, in the above photo, previous explosive sketch-lines are still faintly visible from edits I made before taking photos.
This design is the only one I hadn’t finished revising or cut out. I decided to work on it because it’s one of my favorite Protoas and Alpha taught me that they take a great deal of time to build. I’ve decided it’s thus worthwhile to complete my favorites first.
I spent significant time working on pen and ink drawings of fruits and vegetables over the week too. It’s helped me think about loosening up my hand and how to emphasize shading. It’s a very useful excercise for training both the hand and eye.
I continued my Sisyphean efforts to make my silver hammered earrings. This morning I ultimately cut the ends off of both, having splintered the silver at the core. I took a quick look at a silversmithing q&a forum (orchid.ganoskin.com) and worry I damaged the grain in spite of regular annealing. I’m revising my plan for these. No more tapered end. I’ll solder earwires on after forming the spirals and hammering them into flatter hoops.